Goal for Hapiness Or Happiness for Goal?

Where are you heading?

This post is a response to Sachin’s post,  thanks to him for writing and provoking me to write this blog !!

Come on mate … Hans was Happy

In the Tale… Hans exchanged one thing with the other and kept on doing it till he was again left with nothing at the end … However did you notice –

1. He was always Happy about what he did … He was living in the moment , he did what he felt was right to do at that very moment and not getting worried about what’s going to happen next … He was living his dreams … what a perfect way to live … isn’t it?
2. He started his journey with silver which was heavy … and he ended with stone …both heavy and causing him trouble to reach home … his goal
3. On heavier note - silver had material value and could be exchanged … Stone had no value for the material world and thus he exchanged stone with Mother Nature for peace and happiness (attained Nirvana … and that was spiritual wow moment for him… Buddha moment!!) he got something which he can keep sharing and exchanging with people and it will never end … Peace and Happiness …  You came empty hand and will go with empty hand … amen!
4. How do we know he would have lived happily with Silver? He was already happy doing what he did … who knows somebody would have killed him for the want of Silver? Hans’s story actually teaches us the right way to live and unlocks the key to happiness.
5. What if this story would have ended something like this – That stone had more value than silver and he lived happily ever after… who knows?

The Cycle…

“What we have we don’t want … what we want we don’t have” very apt title and discussion. Want Cycle is what is driving this universe … isn’t it that we always want something? Even when we don’t want anything we have the want for “nothing” Even that monk sitting under tree has desire or want for peace (what if it’s not materialistic desire…).

I will not get into the debate of RIGHT or WRONG desires because every being depending on the state they are in have their own level of desires … (Remember Maslow??) and I feel there is a saturation level with every desire too … when we are saturated with one thing we move to other and other and other and other …somehow, something gives the feeling that saturation level with materialistic things is less as compared to other “spiritual” things (Its never enough of Happiness. Infinite Saturation)

Possessing a Desire Vs Quest for the Goal

I feel problem or the cause of dissatisfaction is not having desires (I would like to call it GOAL) BUT the problem is either Lack of Goals or the unrealistic Goals or sticking to them even after Saturation (not letting it go)

As long as you are having a Goal that is realistic and you are working on it and walking on the path to attain it … and enjoying the journey to the Goal … you will be happy and peaceful … Do we not do everything for happiness? Or strive for happiness. Life is Pursuit of Happiness…  (For the sake of simplicity we can ignore who are after sorrow ….. or sadness in life … if there are any?).

It’s not the desire to possess something which is driving this world … BUT the journey or the quest for the goal …

Will force myself stop here as Examples, Explainations are endless …. its another loop … “goal for happiness and hapiness for goal”…

I feel you can use Hans’s story as a framework to put into perspective most of the dilemmas or thought provoking topics posted on your blog… Try giving it a shot..

UK wali, Apni and Choti Priyanka

Following is a beautiful piece written by Bhavna…

Zero to THREE

Till  few years back  only Priyanka I knew about was Priyanka chopra, the one who won the Miss World title for India and who finally ventured into apun ka bollywood…its  still fresh in my mind how impressive she was looking in that evening gown of hers. It may have been more than a year now and the count of  priyankas I know (and talk to) has grown multifold. To be precise the count has grown from zero to three. I have been thinking of writing this for many days on how my association with the 3 Priyanka’s been similar and different in their own sweet ways.

First Priyanka – UK wali Priyanka

The 1^st Priyanka whom I met… my interaction with her started as business as uusal for day-to-day official transactions, however till date she is my colleague and a nice buddy (err shall I call her ex-colleague…this ex thing is not a very comfortable to write about …but for now we are not with the same organization).  She is one person who believes in looking for solutions rather than escalating issues unnecessarily and blowing a trumpet around it. That was one of the characteristics that made me like her… She should really be applauded for this quality of hers. In the corporate set-up very rarely you find people like her who would not escalate things if somebody else had slipped. She did that on a number of occasions. (Thank You lady!!!) I have a very comfortable association with her from day one in spite of the fact that I have never seen her in flesh and blood. Whatever interaction we had so far has been on phone and on mail or these days mostly on chat. She is one person who has always been great source of tips and inspiration on how to make your relationship work. Whenever I am clueless on how to do something different (on personal front) she is the first one I get in touch with. She has given me some valuable tips whenever I need them the most….and believe me they worked… Be it on decorating the cake with “Missed You” …baking banana cake with topping of fruit and very recently the karwachauth katha. Etc etc the list is long …Hey! Continue sending those…really appreciate

Second Priyanka – Apni Priyanka

The 2^nd Priyanka…I call her Vivek’s Priyanka….or apni Priyanka…the reason is that I have been hearing about her since last December…guess that was the time she got married to Vivek. Now story is that Vivek and Priyanka were Sid’s batch mates during college; later Sid and Vivek were flat mates when Sid moved to Sydney in September last year!! So during December last year I heard about Vivek’s Priyanka and also saw her in her marriage pics! I actually met her few days after I landed in Sydney. We had gone to their (Vivek & Priyanka’s) place for dinner. She had made dosa…  Indian food in a foreign land and that too dosa…  believe you me it is worth millions… thanks to her for dosa and yummy cake. Other than recipes she has been pretty helpful in guiding me through some parts of the city of Sydney… I dunno how much she succeeded but she tried her best ( This I am very sure). Her mentee is slightly dumb with directions (that’s ofcourse me!!!). She took me to places like Chatswood and few more. Chatswood is one place in Sydney which I can claim  I visited before Sid did… So thanks to her. We have lot of things in common…the Hyderabad connection, we got married (to our respective partners) in a gap of four months, we still hunting out for jobs, the reason we are in Sydney -  thanks to our Spouses, we are experimenting a lot with cooking these days, visit similar place (Paddy’s) for vegetables etc etc…the list is long. She has been inspirational in cooking. She is the one to try new things most of the time and then I follow her. Be it baking cakes, Pizza, spinach soup etc to name a few. I just followed her with her recipes… Thanks to her….i could make dosa, beans with coconut, cakes, pizza, spinach soup, veg Manchurian etc again list goes on and on… By the way her recipes have travelled to few of my other friends in India. She has also helped with a number of job applications…. And very much kept me up and running in this part of the world. She was the first one I could call and talk with anytime ever since I landed here.  Thanks Lady!!! Having said that I would like to add that Beware!!! if you are talking to her post lunch… to be precise after a meal…she becomes dangerous (some of us who have faced her post that would know what I am referring to…)  and another thing she really sells ideas well…she should actually take commission from Pizza hut…because she did sell that to us…pretty well!!! Hats off lady!!

Third Priyanka – Choti priyanka

The 3^rd Priyanka…happens to be the most recent addition to this list….We call her Choti Priyanka (Abhinav Coined this name)…Not because of her stature but because we met her recently (well it’s not so recent any more). The fact that we have two different Priyanka in a limited circle of friends here and we talk a lot about both of them during the course of our conversations so for the benefit of the group and now the readers we have used this as a demarcation. She has been in Sydney for last 4 months as well and happens to be my neighbour. I stay on the 14^th floor and she stays on the 1^st floor and we share the same view just the magnitude is different. Just that she is more grounded than me (;P). She is the one who helped a stranger (on day one) with contacts of people who give freelancing assignments. I had never thought I could do Freelancing work. Hadn’t it been her I don’t think it I would have ever started freelancing. Somehow it gave me confidence and I started out with those assignments and which have been keeping me occupied and busy these days. Small things and gestures matter a lot most of the time. She kept me company when Sid was away on a three day visit to Melbourne and also sweet of her to say that no matter what time of night and I can give her a call anytime. Neighbour like her in a new city can make a big difference and can give you lot of ease. She is a good cook too….makes yummy Chicken saagwala, dahi wada, chocolate walnut cake. She shared her recipe’s and inspired me to make moong dal halwa, spinach chicken, cookies, tomato rice etc… She has been in Australia for more than a year now and has also been to Melbourne too. She is one Melbourne fan you will meet. She is also in Sydney because her husband is here and has been on a look out for a job. She has helped me cut down on few calories as well (though don’t think it has made much of a difference….i still continue to put on weight) and gives me company on our daily evening walks. We also explored few new lanes and places while on our evening walks. Last few weeks we have been sharing lot of food and delicacies….thanks to her

It is so nice to have a few friends like these when you are away from other friends of yours. Any place is fun and becomes a better place to be with such wonderful people around you.

Thank you ladies for being part of my life and hope to continue for years to come!!

! Hope to add few more Priyanka(s) to my Friendlist … anybody around

Why is God nice…

… Shall I tell you about how I start my day? Believe you me its same daily … These days I sleep somewhere in between 11 to 12 thinking I will get up early in morning…May be around 5:30 or so… In fact I put an alarm too …and today of all the people my cousin called up from Shahjahanpur (my hometown somewhere in India) … I don’t remember if he ever called me up when I was in Delhi…. Never ever… he called up around 5 in the morning … it was usual chit chat by the time it got over it was almost 5:30 should get up now …but nay … no matter how early you sleep or for how many hours you had slept …no matter if you are feeling fresh … you will always want to catch those 5-10 mins of sleep … and you will not realize when those 5-10 mins will become an hour and then even after that hour you will again stretch for another 15 mins ….and that too sitting with closed eyes as if you are meditating or doing some serious early morning thinking and then your prodigal roommate lazing around as you will tell you hey bro you go and take bath first …. You with half open (am just trying to be positive types otherwise i find half closed to be more appropriate) eyes will ask him: what? Did you say you going to take bath (as he leaves early …its today only he is lazing around) when you already know the answer is No… Okay finally you will give up and go to start of with your usual chores of brushing your teeth and being a male species you have an extra task of shaving to get that clean look otherwise people will either term the growth as fungus or will ask you, bro! Is everything right with you … or you going through a bad phase in your life…. To which you can do nothing but smile and say a gentle no…. or to simply avoid such nonsense questions you will choose to spend those five minutes and get that smooth look…. and by the way I can bet that for most of us regular shaving is much easier an option than donning a stub or a beard …. this I can say from my personal experience of number of unsuccessful attempts of growing some hair on my face … believe you me for us lazy types it requires much more care and attention to trim the thing than to just taking a razor and shaving the weeds off …. Okay now that you shaved and got that look…. its time to sit (or shit) on (in) the hot seat (henceforth pot) … (oh by the way this is the sequence I follow,  and it is not that you all should follow the same sequence … I love it this way …  but i presume we all end it up with a shower.. any exceptions here?) well before I talk about sitting on the pot, let me tell you one thing that for the best and most relaxing experience on the pot (now I again feel like calling it a hot seat but pot saves me typing time and my time is of utmost importance to me otherwise how can i write such sensible mails ..) coming back to the awesome experience on pot … for that wow experience I suggest you start your day with a glass or two of lukewarm water … (now this water thing gives me a strong urge to digress again and talk about water ..but i stop myself and not give in to this urge so easily and complete my pot story) and after those glasses of lukewarm liquid wait for some time (and that is the reason I brush and shave … now you got the point) and then relax on the pot … and now when you are sitting here you have all the time in the world to think to doze off to read and this the time you would like to use … it seems so waste sitting on the pot … when you think you are not using any of your body part (well you forget those petty messy intestines.. how can you) and how can waste that time this is the time when you either read newspaper or that extra office reading you wanted to do …or its a great time to read few pages of the novel you have been reading for the past few days … for some this is the only time when they get to catch up with their friends over phone … busy poor souls ..They want to squeeze every minute of their life … and then there are some who smoke ….well whatever you do … it does make you feel better…. (I am safely assuming you other than the things you were doing to utilize your time you also did “the (shit) thing”)

Other day my prodigal roommate corroborates this when he said… God has been so kind to us … there are so many ways to feel better: You shit you feel better … you take a hot water bath you feel better … you sleep you feel better!!

Well being from an Indian origin where we have enough water to waste or to wash … the biggest cultural change (or is it an environmental change … I don’t know … leave it up to you … I call it change) change i find here is in terms of water using patterns….. It was a shock to me when I found out that after shit affair I cant use water to wash…. man it was a real blow to my “feel better” experience … How on earth can you use paper …. (Well that rests the case if they are saving water …they are using paper which I think is equally bad for environment). It is so messy to use paper…. Yuk!! however I have no choice and am getting used to it now … and day by day my feel better experience is not getting back to normal ….Its different I have to spend extra minute in shower … and all these days I have felt guilty of wasting enough paper … (we need to do a research which is more harmful for environment…. any B school student want to take that up? I know they do anything and everything at B schools)

Second water saga is …drinking tap water … man i never did that in India … we use to drink filtered …and also RO (reverse osmosis ..Some trick that makes water much more pure) water…. and here I have to drink directly from the tap … now don’t tell me they have filtered or ROed water running from their taps … or I am not too sure, some of my friends told me they have different water supplies for kitchen and bathrooms … I hope this is just true otherwise I will take few more weeks to getting used to drinking water directly from tap….

Oh in all this i forgot to tell you that if you are living in a decent apartment you will get supply of hot water so very easily that it makes your life comfortable…. turn one way you get hot turn other way you get cold … (now its not that you don’t have such things in India however its part of daily life here … its as much part of your life as using paper (by now you know for what)) Oh did you notice I am using brackets in brackets … and you don’t have to apply BODMAS rule from mathematics…. (which says you have to solve the inner most bracket first) you can read the stuff in flow without getting worried about brackets, I am sure it would make sense ( if at all anything is making sense)

Now coming back to the last ritual of taking bath …nothing special about it … you just go and stand in the shower …. yes you do spend some time daily setting the tap for right temperature of water …for few weeks I did almost burnt myself or almost freeze myself … now am getting better at it ….

You take bath … you wipe yourself up and then wear clothes … and lo! you are ready to launch yourself (by the way I have this feeling to explain the process of wearing clothes, its very interesting …it not as simple as just writing wear clothes …there’s very much more to it … may be some other day I will touch upon it)

After this comes the most difficult bit … and it is difficult for everybody … now there are two categories in this everybody … category one … Single …category two Married …we can further have males and females in category one… category two can be divided into Married with no kids and Married with kids … everybody has their own share of difficulties… As I am in male in category one… I will be much confident about talking for Single male’s difficulties who can further be classified as Single male who can cook and single male who cannot cook … as I have some knowledge of the names of vegetables and shapes of spices and color of pulses I think I am a Single Male who can cook ….so that makes me think that i have less difficulties than all other categories (don’t ask me or don’t even bother to go up and check what categories … I don’t remember what the classification was … and I am sure I will not use any of the categories ahead…. easy!)

P.S. Thought i would re read it and improve on it …however i think i am too lazy to do same now … so posting it as is … eat it with all the errors …

On Blogs and Blogging

Look Sid, I am finally writing

Siddharth here (the owner of this blog), is an addicted blogger himself and to pass on his passion, has introduced this whole new world to not-so-tech-savvy friends of his. And he has even been generous enough to me to grant access rights to post on his blog!

Blogging, to my mind, though endearing at times, is not addictive. When blogging was a new fad, I was scandalized at the very concept. It was like a personal diary kept open for public viewing! But over the years the perspective has changed. It means a lot of things to me today – it is a window to how an individual feels, a forum for discussion and more importantly an outlet.

People are born with varied skills. Some of us play music, some of us sing, others are active in sports and the rest of us blog! For someone like me, who constantly needs to express her thoughts, blogging has definitely proved to be panacea. Hence blogging can now be safely termed as a hobby. Infact for some it is already proving to be a profession!

However the power of the blog is yet to be exploited. I would not want to comment on blogs kept by celebrities, as it is just a PR exercise and I definitely believe that they are the last people to sit and write when they can pay for the service. And what never ceases to amaze me, is that there are takers for this gimmick! Wow! People are just waiting out there to lap up every word and discuss it till death!

But I would like to comment on blogs as a marketing tool.

Of late, blogs have become a platform for the introduction of new products, ideas, services by various entities. Authors, film stars, corporates are all leveraging on the power of the written word. Blogging is now, no more in fashion. It has become a way of life. If you want to make a statement – start a blog! As a marketing tool, blogging is indeed changing the way we sell. What better publicity then inviting people to discuss about your products generating instant customer feedback!

Think of the amount of money you can save on advertising, promotions etc by simply blogging. Apart from the financial aspect, you are empowering your customer to comment and valuing it too! Word of Mouth has never generated better business! And I say why not.

But at the same time it saddens me when someone blogs as an excuse for selling his/her product. Very few have maintained the fine line between business and hobby which is steadily blurring.

A blog is a forum over which people connect and share ideas. It is not a place where you pimp your wares and that is what it is steadily becoming. Blogs with confused articles and statements are more endearing than blogs with incisive messages hell bent on persuading you to sample the produce. A reality that is not only undermining but completely demeaning the basic idea behind blogging.

Then what?

Sid: I am extremely sorry for what happened

Me: Just because of your carelessness that little creature is no more, you could have been little careful

Sid: don’t make it worse for me, it wasn’t intentional, it’s not my fault, had I known that she was there, I would have taken care not to close the door. I am already feeling very sad for her. I didn’t do it for fun.

Me: hmmm

Sid: There could not have been a worst way to start a day. That innocent lizard for none of her fault got crushed in the door, her stoned, black eyes staring at her murderer. I finished her journey called life and that was sad way to end the journey.

However what is done is done, may be this was the cosmic plan for her, I was an instrument to provide her Moksha, and to end her lizard life so that she can start a new life may be as a human being or any other better form.

Me: Oh! So you think you were chosen for the purpose. Nice, but you are not a soul pure enough to provide her freedom.

Sid: That hardly matters as long as I am clear about my intentions and pure within. Do you have any idea how many insects you kill daily or what you are doing when you relish that chicken. You better not try to bog me down with your silly reasons. I am sorry for the lizard and have wish peace for her soul.

What I am wondering is, someday your and my life would come to a stop like this. May be naturally or may be somebody intentionally or unintentionally will snatch it away from you in a matter of moments.

Then what? Would you have finished everything you came here for? Are you working on your dreams so that even if you leave suddenly some base would be there for others to take forward? Or your dreams will go with you as dreams?

Perceptions

Perceptions

Phew! Perceptions can be so dangerous. I stress again … Really dangerous….

Oh no! Here comes Mr. Left brain again with its lectures on what is right and what is wrong..!

Mr. Left Brain: See I told you to behave yourself and don’t try to show those stupid feelings of yours ever on your face. Some so and so person would have thought so and so about you.

Me: Yes, yes, I know L Sorry!

Mr. Left Brain: Don’t sorry me, Lady! Go say sorry to that fellow who felt bad because of your stupid behaviour

Me: Yes, I will L But don’t know how.

Mr Left Brain: Serves you right. You should have thought about it earlier. Now go and confront it like a mature person and discuss openly, and please now please BEHAVE yourself.

Me: Yes, I will.

Left Right OR Middle

As I said in this post, everybody can write … one just have to let the thoughts flow … so I keep pestering people to write and share ..whenever they can with whatever thoughts that come to mind . My colleague and a good friend Columbus (That’s what we will call her on this blog!!) actually took the pain of writing and sharing. Believe you me, that she wrote brilliant stuff about daily tug of war that keeps happening in our mind.

Read on and share your thoughts in comments… may be you will motivate her to write more …

Expectations

One’s mind, heart and soul want too many good things in world that can have an impact on the society. Ironically, some of these “good things” might want you to do things that generally do not adhere to the norms of society…So, here you are happily standing in midst of a society expectations, expectation and liabilities from everybody you interact or communicate with.

Right and Left

While you are trying hard to set expectations right…..and when you have almost made the choice, they start their game, who are they? …. They are the most confused fractions of society: Your right and left brain.

The Game

The right brain dreams about breaking rules, going out and create the world he has always been dreaming about, ready to take the world, full charged up to do creative things which Left brain disregard as illogical and crap. While Mr Right was dreaming here came the logical and practical big brother – the left brain. It says, “Hey Stop! Are you out of your “mind”? Who will take care f the loans, house, kids, family, relationships, liabilities etc. And then they start fighting to make sure you have restless days and sleepless nights …

The Middle Man

While they are fighting, here is a friend (I doubt, if he is really a friend!!) of yours, who is struggling hard to add his two cents and presumably come up with middle path. After a while, it says, “Hmm… I think, Mr. Right brain, you should hold on till the time Mr. Left brain settles down with his liabilities and duties. Now this can take some time, and how big that “sometime” would be is a big question mark …however till the time liabilities are not over you should go to what i call “creative Hibernation”. Take that back seat, take whatever you want and keep on thinking new ideas, new ways, and new passions and keep honing old ones…. keep on going with this process of continuous improvement. This will make sure that when Mr Left Brain settles down, you will be ready with the most Brilliant, crazy and creative idea .

The Right brain thinks through what he just heard and says, “Yeah may be you are right. People around should not suffer because of my whims and fancies…. because of some hasty decisions. Well, in meantime, we all can explore and build up on the dreams to see where and how it can fit in.”

The middle brain and the left brain are pleased with Mr. Right’s understanding and response.

Primary Roles and Responsibilities

It is just a matter of setting your objectives right! You should know your primary roles and responsibilities in life. Some of these responsibilities you would have taken yourself and some others passed on to you. Do not blame these responsibilities for not able to do where your heart lies.

Directly or indirectly your deeds actually impact the people around you and thereby making a difference in society around you. And amongst these primary responsibilities, you may find many opportunities to do that “little extra” to pacify Mr. Right brain. Have patience and a lot of faith that there are many good things in store for you in Life.

The bottom line is keep doing your duty and there are many small happiness and joy that you will find in your niche. Enjoy that!

(p.s. In future you can access her write ups under category Columbus)

Who are you?

Kaun ho tum?
raat ke ghane saayee ho ya
sunahri subah ka aagazz
mere safar ke humrahi ho?
ya mere saath chalta sirf ek ehsaas
Tum ho,
ya ho ek dhooka?
kaho tho karu vishwaas…
aayine me aks hai…
par mai jo palti tho nazar aaooge?
aastha hai tum me
tum pe hai vishwass
par,
maine jo pukara sun paaoge meri aawaz?
tum ho door vho aaseemit aakash
ya mere sagar ki gahrai me chupa koi raaz?
kaun ho tum?
tum tak urne ko pankh jo falaye
soocha tha jitne paas
tum utni hi door nazar aaayee
reeth ho ya paani?
kya ho sirf ek paaayse ki aas
kya jootha hai mera vishwaas?
tum ho?
ya sirf mai hu
ya mai jo kahun…
MUJH ME HO TUM

Bubble and Dream

Writing poems is no easy task… at least for me … however it comes naturally to shivi my younger sis… in fact she once started her  blog. However coz of lack of resources (net connect and comp) to hook to virtual world, she could not update it frequently … however here is a solution … I asked her to send her sweet little creations as SMS to me ….Initially it started of with one page on Idea Factory. However i think it makes more sense to start this new factory called poem factory ….so keep visiting poem factory for her original creations …With this I get one more original and creative contributor to this meaningful randomness So here we start this right brain journey with poem about dreams, bubbles and life…. In future you can find these poems in category shivi

 

 

Bulbula hai ek sapna hai zindagi
haso hasao kuch kar dikhao
mushkile aayengi par tum ladtay jaao
sab sahi kartay jaao bus
sahi kartay jaao
kuch khud ke liay kabhi doosro ke liay
bus yahi hai zindagi
tho soochtay kaya ho
yeh jo kaalay badal chaaye hai
inhay hatatao aur muskurao
choti hai zindagi aapne sapne jagao
kuch kar dikhao … kuch kar dikhao

(Meaning in English: Life is a Bubble
spread happiness and do something worthwhile
There will be Problems,
however you keep fighting them
Do everything right, do everything right
something for your own good
and something for others
This is the crux of life
o' man what are you thinking then
remove these black clouds and smile
life is short awaken your dreams
Do something worthwhile)